I Pity The Fool.....

I have no idea what I am writing today.  I seem to have hit a wall where I am unsure of my present and my future.  My life seems to be set in a mode of work and home with Grandma (who I love don't get me wrong).  I feel boxed in and I would like to do something that I am passionate about.  But how can you do something like that when you doubt yourself and what you can accomplish?

I know things I like to do.  I like to read, listen to music and I love to travel.  If I could be anyone I would be Samantha Brown.  Granted I find her show a bit remedial and she always has a drink in her hand.  But, she gets to travel all over the world for her occupation.  How the heck did she pull that off??!!  I wish I had thought of that years ago and done something in that vein, hence I would not be in the position I am in now.

I am stuck in a job I am not happy with and am bordering on loathing.  The few people who made it tolerable are gone or are leaving (Whitney...Teri!!! For shame!!).  I have one person left..and they aren't much happier than I am.  However, their personality is much different than mine...looking on the bright side when they can.  I wish I could say I was an optimist, but lets face it.  I am a realist.  When I tend to look out for anything good, it turns out for crap.

I have a feeling of distrust almost all the time, in every situation.  Its very disconcerting and annoying.  Who really wants to feel like this?? I am unable to leave my living situation.  I live with my grandmother since my grandpa passed away 3 years ago, so she wouldn't be alone.  Its not all bad, but it hasn't been a picnic either.

Since the house has been literally eaten with termites, we are under construction.  Since June.  That has made things even more closed in and cluttered.  I am bordering on sainthood.  Since no one is dead yet I feel that is at least some kind of accomplishment.  I think the worst part is I don't have the option to go anywhere.  Maybe some day.  Its sad that I can feel so excited about a vacation with my sisters family next fall.  Maybe before then things will change a bit.

Okay, this has turned into a pity party.  Not the best start to a weekend.  At least I got it off my chest.  Hopefully, things will improve.  Hey!  Maybe I will win the lottery!  Yeah right...

Until next time...I hope everyone will keep on keepin on...

Its the Most Wonderful Time of the Year...August?

Here we are in sunny Tallahassee, in the month of August. I cannot believe its gone so quickly. I don't know about the rest of you but I am definitely in need of some cooler weather. Which brings up where we are in the year already! I only have 4 months left until the fat man in red comes back.

Now, those of you who know me are well aware that I am a Christmas junkie. I know, its a sickness that cannot be denied. I have started listening to the music at work, at home, on the television. I am making plans for decorating at the office and at the house. See, part of it is the over organized pre-planning part of my brain. I like to have things thought out in advance. That way I can execute what I want with little to no problems.

Secondly, I want more Christmas decorating stuff. See? Its wrong, wrong, wrong...but feels oh so right! And since I plan ahead and enjoy the decorations, I must admit I also like the attention it gets. Not to toot my own horn, but we get amazing compliments in our office when I decorate for the holidays. Not only does it look amazing, but it smells amazing too (thank you Glade plug ins - apple cinnamon)! So many patients ask who we had come and put it all together. Ha!

Don't get me started on the wrapping and the cards. I like to coordinate them and have a theme. Plus, I love to use ribbon! Oh well, until then I have plenty of things to think of and over.

But what I hope for the most is cold weather. I am sick of this hot, humid, suffocating heat. Don't bother going outside between sunrise and sundown. You will melt where you stand. I can take the cold..bring it on!

Anyway, this turned out to be more of a ramble rather than a post. But it had to be said. I will try to post sooner next time. Bye now!