I Pity The Fool.....

I have no idea what I am writing today.  I seem to have hit a wall where I am unsure of my present and my future.  My life seems to be set in a mode of work and home with Grandma (who I love don't get me wrong).  I feel boxed in and I would like to do something that I am passionate about.  But how can you do something like that when you doubt yourself and what you can accomplish?

I know things I like to do.  I like to read, listen to music and I love to travel.  If I could be anyone I would be Samantha Brown.  Granted I find her show a bit remedial and she always has a drink in her hand.  But, she gets to travel all over the world for her occupation.  How the heck did she pull that off??!!  I wish I had thought of that years ago and done something in that vein, hence I would not be in the position I am in now.

I am stuck in a job I am not happy with and am bordering on loathing.  The few people who made it tolerable are gone or are leaving (Whitney...Teri!!! For shame!!).  I have one person left..and they aren't much happier than I am.  However, their personality is much different than mine...looking on the bright side when they can.  I wish I could say I was an optimist, but lets face it.  I am a realist.  When I tend to look out for anything good, it turns out for crap.

I have a feeling of distrust almost all the time, in every situation.  Its very disconcerting and annoying.  Who really wants to feel like this?? I am unable to leave my living situation.  I live with my grandmother since my grandpa passed away 3 years ago, so she wouldn't be alone.  Its not all bad, but it hasn't been a picnic either.

Since the house has been literally eaten with termites, we are under construction.  Since June.  That has made things even more closed in and cluttered.  I am bordering on sainthood.  Since no one is dead yet I feel that is at least some kind of accomplishment.  I think the worst part is I don't have the option to go anywhere.  Maybe some day.  Its sad that I can feel so excited about a vacation with my sisters family next fall.  Maybe before then things will change a bit.

Okay, this has turned into a pity party.  Not the best start to a weekend.  At least I got it off my chest.  Hopefully, things will improve.  Hey!  Maybe I will win the lottery!  Yeah right...

Until next time...I hope everyone will keep on keepin on...

Its the Most Wonderful Time of the Year...August?

Here we are in sunny Tallahassee, in the month of August. I cannot believe its gone so quickly. I don't know about the rest of you but I am definitely in need of some cooler weather. Which brings up where we are in the year already! I only have 4 months left until the fat man in red comes back.

Now, those of you who know me are well aware that I am a Christmas junkie. I know, its a sickness that cannot be denied. I have started listening to the music at work, at home, on the television. I am making plans for decorating at the office and at the house. See, part of it is the over organized pre-planning part of my brain. I like to have things thought out in advance. That way I can execute what I want with little to no problems.

Secondly, I want more Christmas decorating stuff. See? Its wrong, wrong, wrong...but feels oh so right! And since I plan ahead and enjoy the decorations, I must admit I also like the attention it gets. Not to toot my own horn, but we get amazing compliments in our office when I decorate for the holidays. Not only does it look amazing, but it smells amazing too (thank you Glade plug ins - apple cinnamon)! So many patients ask who we had come and put it all together. Ha!

Don't get me started on the wrapping and the cards. I like to coordinate them and have a theme. Plus, I love to use ribbon! Oh well, until then I have plenty of things to think of and over.

But what I hope for the most is cold weather. I am sick of this hot, humid, suffocating heat. Don't bother going outside between sunrise and sundown. You will melt where you stand. I can take the cold..bring it on!

Anyway, this turned out to be more of a ramble rather than a post. But it had to be said. I will try to post sooner next time. Bye now!

Twilight Movie? Not Again Thanks!

Well, for those of you who live under a rock, the newest Twilight movie Eclipse came out. Lord help me, I promised my cousin Shelby (who is 16 by the way) that I would take her over the weekend. Saturday night arrives and as we are trekking up the steps to find a decent seat I hear a whispered "SHELBY!!"..It seems her friend Ashley (also 16) was there to see the flick. She wanted us to sit with her and I stupidly said okay.

Now, the movie was okay. It won't change the world or anything but I must admit I was becoming a bit perturbed when I start hearing catcalls and screams. It pretty much went..show a shot of Edward...screams abound...show Jacob...yep more screaming...I was constantly telling the girls to calm down and to sit down (although they weren't the only ones). It wasn't until later on the I got a bit of revenge myself. Ha! Obviously old Eddie and Bella get to play sleepover and things get hot and heavy. Those teenage girls in the audience started really getting crazy..until I finally said..Chill out, they aren't gonna do it till their married! In which a mass of heads turned my way and all cried out, They get married??!! When, how (not much on reading, some of these girls are they?)..

So I was a spoiler but at least they chilled a bit. I was glad when the movie was over and I could leave the mass hysteria. Although, I had to literally drag my cousin away from the Eclipse party that was being held in the room across the way...so tempting to those who cannot control them selves! So from now on, since I have seen the others I will at least need to finish off the series, I will kick back and wait for it on DVD. It just seems safer for your sanity and your hearing!

Independence!

Well, here it is, eight months later and I finally get to post! 4th of July weekend and I am glad of it. Not just because we have a 3 day weekend, but because it reminds me and the rest of us good ol' Americans what we have to be thankful for and the freedoms that some rebels back in 1776 did for us all.

At times it is hard to imagine that a bunch of middle aged men wearing powdered wigs were basically outlaws of their time. Secret meetings, huddled conversations and plans..all to gain freedom from a King who ruled from overseas. Think of the wars fought, men and women lost, to retain those freedoms since then.

It is an awesome responsibility to do what we can to retain that liberty which was gained for us. One we don't take seriously enough in my opinion. We have not been tested in that ways that those individuals were. Oh we have our own 21st Century wars..but where have they been fought? We have become complacent.

Which is why I hope everyone will really think about what we have as a country and as a people. And no matter what one President (who shall remain nameless has said) we are a nation of individuals who share a responsibility to ourselves, our families and future generations. Not only to protect those freedoms but to remember tho cost of those freedoms.

So while we are eating our hot dogs and apple pie, watching the brilliance of fireworks exploding in the balmy summer evening, remember our forefathers, our great-grandfathers. Think of your responsibilities. Then smile. You live in the greatest nation on the planet. Pretty sweet if you ask me!